The accounts of things

You get so caught up in the scheme of things that you forget what you're trying to accomplish here.

What are we trying to do here? Are we trying to win the hearts and minds of the Iraqi people? Are we trying to weed out as many bad people as possible? Or both? I keep asking myself these questions and more and find that the answers sometimes do not quite satisfy me.

I am convinced in this war. I believe in this war. I would like to believe that what I'm doing here has some sense of purpose. But the past few weeks, I have just seen things that have gone against everything that we have stood and fought for the past 4 years.

And amidst all these questions I get news that one of my boys from boot camp was killed and another got his leg blown off.

It didn't hit me too hard at first, but after a while, it sunk deep into my heart and I felt a sore ache. I knew these guys. For three months we lived together; we ate, shower, pt, and did everything together.

The day we first held that rifle, we were told that a few of us might not make it back. I didn't take it too strong at the time. Now it seemed like yesterday and the words ring louder and louder to me everyday.